


Unravel

by TururaJ



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omegaverse, Post-Finale, Pregnancy, alternative universe - canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29843046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TururaJ/pseuds/TururaJ
Summary: It was his fault he had shunned himself and denied his own nature, that he had put someone else on the pedestal, but it was too late to change anything. What he could have now, with Kaizuka, was his only chance.
Relationships: Kaizuka Inaho/Slaine Troyard
Comments: 28
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Today I bring you porn! Tbh I'm simply indulging myself. You can read it as just porn and forget about it (or not read it) but this story will have a normal, serious continuation.

It was madness: hot, greedy, burning his sanity away. He had only a short moment of doubt before his own hands unbuttoned Kaizuka’s shirt and he pressed his lips against his naked chest, teeth scratching the warm skin right under his collarbone. Kaizuka gave him a long look - the one that usually made the guards at the prison start squirming and admitting all kinds of sins - but Slaine didn’t care. It had been six years since his imprisonment, six long years of loneliness and longing, and he was more than ready for a little misbehaving. If one could call an act of casual sex between the prisoner and his overseer as misbehaving. He knew no one cared about his existence anymore; surely, no one would care about this.

It was totally his fault they had ended up right here, half-undressed. Kaizuka was visiting at the end of the week, precise as usual. They’ve discussed the last book Slaine had read, played chess and shared Kaizuka’s homemade dinner. It was an ordinary Sunday ritual; only God knew why Kaizuka had been devoted to it for years but Slaine didn’t dare complain. Thanks to Kaizuka he always received new books and materials to fill his time with; it was his respite. The prison hadn’t become a nice place even after the guards got tired of their duties, and the regime softened.

Kaizuka had been acting as usual but during the lasts visits Slaine had noticed the slight difference in his behavior. He was looking stiff and tired as if something had been weighing on his mind. Slaine didn’t pay it attention, not at first, but, coincidentally, during one of the nights he had been woken up because of the strange noise, only to find a couple of guards having sex in the opposite cell. He remembered they were going to be transferred soon so he guessed they decided to use the opportunity while they could. The despicable creatures must have thought that doing it in the prison, in front of Slaine Troyard, would be arousing. He pushed the blanket over his head and pretended he saw nothing; too bad he couldn’t turn the sounds off.

It had happened just one time but ever since the night he couldn’t forget it, no matter how he tried. It made him think of his own poor fate. Not a soul knew he was an omega under the effect of the long-duration suppressant; in the prison documentation he was stated as a beta, and no one doubted it because no sane omega on Earth and Vers would want to risk taking suppressants in fear of becoming infertile. Slaine had made that choice as soon as his first heat kicked in, back on the moon base when Saazbaum had been still alive.

Honestly, he’d prefer to grow into an alpha but there was no way to choose his gender. True genders developed after puberty and because of constant wars science was still lacking in attempts to study them. Alpha-omega-beta genders could not be predicted; every person started in the world as either a male or female and alpha-omega mutations happened very fast - as soon as human body was ready for the changes. The average age varied from fifteen to twenty years, and Slaine’s case wasn’t any different. The difference was that he had chosen the war over the ability to have a family in the future. But giving Asseylum a peaceful world had been more important to him.

And now he couldn’t throw away the sudden interest for sex. At first he feared his suppressant had started to wear off - he knew it wouldn’t work forever but it was supposed to hold off his heats for the next ten years at least. The fear came and was gone as weeks passed and nothing changed. No, it seemed like his strange desire was coming from his own mind. Maybe he had grown up to a point where sex started to appeal to him, and since he had been a reluctant witness to it he now couldn’t escape his shameful imagination.

But there was no way he could approach any guard. Every year guards were changing, and their personalities differed vastly. There was no abuse to talk of, of course, Kaizuka always made sure he was safe, yet he still wouldn’t trust them, especially with his own body. Not after Vers and Cruhteo. Sometimes Slaine would flinch, wondering what could have happened to him if he had become an omega while he was a servant. Cruhteo held no mercy for terrans.

So the only option left was, predictably, Kaizuka Inaho himself. Slaine knew Kaizuka was an alpha: he smelled like one even though his sense of smell was very impaired because of the suppressant. And an alpha sleeping with a beta wasn’t a rare thing to hear of. The only problem that might occur would be Kaizuka’s refusal. He was single though; Slaine had asked him about his personal life out of curiosity. And somehow Kaizuka’s recent dull look had added to Slaine’s determination to ask him out. Maybe he really was going mad. Six years of prison would do that to a person.

If his suggestion surprised him Kaizuka still showed no signs of it, only asked him, “Why?”

“Why not?” he shrugged.

“I deemed you the type to connect with someone first.”

“Who am I supposed to connect with here, Kaizuka? The toilet bowl? Have been doing that for years, thanks,” Slaine snorted. “If the mere idea disgusts you just say so. It’s not like I’m forcing you. I’m just… tired. I’m sick of everything. Dying a virgin - how pitiful does that sound to you, huh?”

Kaizuka took a long pause, then his look focused on Slaine, the spark of decisiveness coming alive in his lone eye, “I am not prepared. I don’t have condoms.”

Slaine folded his arms over his chest and glared at him, suddenly feeling a bit protective of himself, “You’ve seen my medical check-ups, Kaizuka. I’m clean. No diseases to catch. This disgusting trash from Vers will not sully you in any way.”

“It’s not only about safety, Troyard, but comfort too…”

“For fuck’s sake, just ‘yes’ or ‘no’, Kaizuka,” Slaine finally exploded. The embarrassment was catching up to him; he was starting to think it was not a good idea after all. Why was Kaizuka being stubborn about something like this? Surely, he had experience: alphas’ nature after puberty was too demanding to simply ignore. Surely, if Kaizuka found him disgusting he’d tell him ‘no’ outright. But instead of doing sex itself Kaizuka was stuck on being pragmatic about it.

“Although I do not understand the hurry…” Kaizuka brought up his hand to touch his eye-patch as if he needed a moment to properly word his answer, “Fine, yes. I see no reason to oppose the sex. But only if you are very sure, Troyard. It might not be what you expect.”

“Either way I’ll probably have no other chance to try it,” Slaine grimaced at the thought but was quickly distracted - Kaizuka gracefully moved the line of his shoulders and let his uniform jacket slide down onto the stool. “Unless I like it with you, and we both want a repeat.”

His throat went dry. There was an alpha standing in front of him. An alpha who had agreed to bed him. He couldn’t fully describe the feelings it stirred. He had been denying his omega nature ever since it had woken up, and to suddenly have an opportunity to explore it, albeit a little bit, was… wonderfully alluring. Kaizuka wasn’t in a hurry to move, and Slaine let the moment linger. They stood in front of each other, studying each other’s bodies, secretly trying to smell the other’s scent. Slaine had noticed Kaizuka breathing in deeper too, even though he was convinced Slaine was a beta. It made him shiver and discard all the remaining doubts. It made him step forward and start unbuttoning Kaizuka’s shirt.

He was surprised his hands didn’t shake; he supposed he was too old to be scared. Kaizuka’s skin was deliciously warm, and he spent minutes just enjoying how it warmed the tips of his fingers up. Feeling bolder when Kaizuka made no move to withdraw he pressed his palms to his firm chest closely and slowly explored it. It wasn’t any different from his own but _it wasn’t his own_ and that was what mattered. A strong heart beat beneath Kaizuka’s skin and muscles, behind his ribcage, and he could almost feel the pulse of it. He slid his hands lower, tracing the shape of Kaizuka’s abdomen, of his sides. Too bad his pants soon halted his exploration.

Kaizuka was in a good form: not overly manly but not thin and bony either. A man - an alpha - in his good twenties who clearly took time to look after himself: maybe he was running or going to a gym. The only thing in which Slaine would undoubtedly win if he compared them to each other was height. Kaizuka would probably never tower over him, not that it mattered. His head already dizzy, Slaine erased the still existing space between their bodies, his arms reaching underneath Kaizuka’s shirt to study his firm back.

“Are you sure you’re a virgin?” Kaizuka asked, his tone of voice full with unfamiliar curiosity when Slaine buried his nose against his neck and got a long whiff. “You’re quite bold for a first time.”

“When I shot you in the head I didn’t doubt too,” Slaine mumbled, too distracted by Kaizuka’s faint smell. He wasn’t going to waste time and give explanations. He was sure Kaizuka didn’t need them anyway. They were aiming for casual sex, not any kind of relationship. Oh, how funny it’d be to have a relationship with _Kaizuka Inaho_? He laughed inwardly. Impossible: they were too different, had too much negative history, they’d hate each other’s guts. No, right now Slaine was appreciating Kaizuka as an alpha and the only possible partner he could ever have to satisfy his sudden interest in sex. He even kind of hoped that sex would be bad it’d efface any lingering desires in his stupid brain.

Kaizuka didn’t continue their banter, instead he placed his hands on Slaine’s hips and pulled him closer, and the sudden force of his move made Slaine’s breathing hitch. They stood very close now, groin to groin, personal space completely forgotten, and Slaine felt his arousal kicking in. If he weren’t under suppressant he’d surely feel how his body would start getting ready to accept an alpha. He’d be so wet and he’d wet his prison pants - like an animal in heat. He was immensely thankful that what he only felt now was hotness and pleasant spasms coursing through his lower back and belly. He needed to remember to act like a beta.

Succumbing to an impulse, Slaine pushed his teeth into Kaizuka’s skin on his shoulder, enjoying the simplicity of the fact he was allowed to do it at the moment. Kaizuka didn’t flinch but he moved his palms lower and squeezed his buttocks and Slaine had to gulp down the moan. Was this how omegas always felt? Just from a blunt touch the burning need to belong to an alpha, to open himself to him - _to_ _serve_ \- skyrocketed. He didn’t know if he liked the feeling or hated it but it was arousing. Blood rushed to his cock and he shuddered as he moved his hips against Kaizuka’s crotch, the desire for friction too demanding to defy.

Kaizuka accommodated him, started moving his hips too, his hands kept assaulting his buttocks through the thin blue fabric of his pants: one second his touch was rough, and then he’d move his hands gently, in long caressing circles, forcing Slaine to dig his nails into his back and just hold on for dear life. In the end he felt so bothered even his lips started stinging from the absence of contact. It was why he started pressing biting kisses all over Kaizuka’s neck, shoulders and then went down his chest, breaking their position. He _needed_ to break it in fear of disgracing himself early and for getting air, _lots of air_.

But he couldn’t uncouple himself from the body in front of him. He stopped kissing Kaizuka only when he reached the belt holding his pants. He wasn’t scared to remove the clothes himself, no, and even the thought of seeing Kaizuka’s cock so closely wasn’t horrible, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to take things further. His imagination happily supplied him with pictures of how he’d swallow Kaizuka’s cock deep in his throat but he realized he wouldn’t get it right the first time and it’d just result in sheer embarrassment. Yet, it sent a jolt of electricity down his spine. He really wanted to try it if he had the chance. Damn it, he wanted to suck Kaizuka’s cock. He never knew he was such a perverted creature.

“Do you want me to take over?” Kaizuka asked quite in time, ever watchful and ready to act.

“Yeah, I guess,” Slaine agreed, stepped back and pulled his t-shirt over his head, baring his scars for Kaizuka to see. He knew Kaizuka had seen them before - he was present at his medical check-ups as his overseer - but for a moment he wondered if maybe unclothing his body was a mistake. Knowing that he had scars and staying aroused while they were open for him to see might just be two different things for Kaizuka. Slaine looked at him in barely concealed worry but Kaizuka wasn’t averting his eye. His reactions were always hard to judge but Slaine could swear Kaizuka looked even more interested now. He felt relieved and also thankful. He didn’t have any rights to be greedy but the longing to be accepted the way he was showed its fangs very unexpectedly, and he was glad the uninvited beast was sated.

And then Kaizuka surprised him even more.

“Do tell me which way you want us to proceed. I’d prefer to be in control since it’s your first time but if you want to lead - tell me, I’ll help along.”

His head whirled. “…You’d let me?” he asked, genuinely taken aback. He was so shocked he had missed the moment Kaizuka undid his belt and undressed fully and now stood in front of him in all his male glory. But even the sight of Kaizuka’s aroused cock couldn’t shake him out of his stupor immediately.

“I do not mind. Sex isn’t about gender.”

Slaine bit his lip and retreated to sit on his cot. He needed a moment to get himself together. Was Kaizuka so open-minded because he thought Slaine was a beta? Would he act differently if he knew about his omega nature? Slaine had yet to hear about any alphas who let their partners dominate in bed. At least back on Vers it was so. Maybe Earth was different but there was no way to know. His only sources of information nowadays were books or journals Kaizuka bought for him, and if there was an occasional romance it usually depictured the familiar alpha-omega, beta-beta couples, with an occasional alpha-beta trope, but in all of those books alphas were the obvious leaders and savors of the day.

Kaizuka’s suggestion was kind and generous and arousing, he had to admit. But all he really wanted was to know how it’d feel for an omega. Because he wanted to _feel_ like an omega - just once in his miserable life. His life was full of wars, of sins, of abuse and neglect, and he never had a moment for himself, for his own desires and needs. Yes, it was his fault he had shunned himself and denied his own nature, that he had put someone else on the pedestal, but it was too late to change anything. What he could have now, with Kaizuka, was his only chance.

“No I… I want you to do it… to me,” he said honestly. It felt like baring a part of his soul and it made him anxious. His eagerness for sex fled, leaving him back on his cot - shivering from the drafts, cold and unsure.

“Okay,” Kaizuka didn’t sound disappointed. He walked past Slaine towards Slaine’s bedside and threw a look over his shoulder. “Do you have something we could use as lubrication?”

Slaine had some hand cream and medical salves - again thanks to Kaizuka - but he wasn’t sure what would suffice better so he waved his hand, “Be my guest.”

It didn’t take Kaizuka long to fish something out of the drawer, a tube of some kind. Slaine was too nervous to pay it attention; he focused on the remains of his own clothes and, deciding to be brave, got rid of his pants and briefs. He was naked now; it was his last chance to stop whatever was happening but he had always been too stubborn, too daring. Life had taught him to be unrelenting, and he was going to see this to the end.

Of course, it was easier said than done. Kaizuka threw the tube near his pillow and came up to him, looking too calm for someone who was planning to fuck him soon. Slaine wasn’t better: his arousal was now gone, chased away by his agitation, and he didn’t feel like he had enough courage to repeat his kissing frenzy. Kaizuka seemed to assess the situation quickly; he climbed onto his cot, lowered onto his side, leant on his arm and propped his head. Slaine blinked, taking in the sight - Kaizuka Inaho lying naked on his bed in his prison cell. What a weird life.

“Lie down with me.”

“Just lie?” Slaine clarified but moved at once, thankful for the directions. It felt better to rest on the soft blankets and he managed to relax despite that Kaizuka’s whole body was pressed against his side.

“Yes, like now.”

Minutes tickled away. Kaizuka was watching him - closely, calmly. He did nothing, only raised his palm and pushed some of Slaine’s messy locks off his face as if he was taking time to relish his looks, his body. It felt… nice, intimate. Maybe it even created a bit of an atmosphere as if they were lovers. He didn’t expect Kaizuka to be so patient. He imagined they’d get into the mechanical part of sex way sooner.

“I’m going to touch you and if you feel uncomfortable with anything tell me,” Kaizuka informed him politely.

Slaine bit back his retort; he wasn’t a damsel in distress and he doubted he needed to be so fussed over but then he realized his face was burning - and it wasn’t because he was irritated. Kaizuka was being considerate, and he was embarrassed from the simple fact that someone cared about his feelings so much. The feeling was new and felt good but he wasn’t ready for it emotionally, hence why he wanted to lash out. Thankfully, he controlled himself just in time.

He gave a short nod, his gaze fixed on Kaizuka’s hand as it lowered onto his chest and started moving over the expanse of his skin and scars. Kaizuka was following the deep pale lines very gently and seemed to enjoy getting acquainted with their flat texture. Slaine shuddered: there wasn’t a lot of feeling in his scars but the patches of skin between them were sensitive, and his heart picked up the pace. As Kaizuka brushed his nipple Slaine stopped him, gripped his wrist.

“Troubles?” Kaizuka’s voice was still smooth, with no hints of panting, but Slaine could swear his bloody-red eye under his half-closed eye-lid stared hungrily at his mouth.

“Yes, just… too much,” he admitted softly. He shifted on the bed and drew one of his knees up: simply lying there felt uncomfortable; he didn’t want to look like a doll.

“I see,” Kaizuka replied and his hand went lower, began its path anew. From his knee up to his inner thigh and back, his motions repetitive, slow, teasing, yet precise. It felt so good Slaine opened up his legs, inviting more of Kaizuka’s touch. The unhurried way Kaizuka evoked pleasant sensations in his body was so mesmerizing he didn’t even notice he was carried along. This time his arousal was born from the steadiness of the low fire, and he liked it. His mind wasn’t clouded with animalistic thoughts; instead - he reveled in the sweet caresses and secretly wished for more.

And Kaizuka gave it to him - paused only to pop the tube’s lid and then suddenly Slaine’s hard cock was wholly engulfed with a cool liquid mess. It warmed up quickly as Kaizuka stroked his cock from the base to the tip, smearing it all over him, his thumb taking time to move over the delicate head. Slaine arched his back and clenched his teeth to stifle the throaty sounds that tried to get past his lips. His hand shot up to hold onto Kaizuka’s shoulder because he needed some kind of guidance to stay sane. The rare times he used to pleasure himself back in his teenage years had never felt like that. Like a wave of sharp pleasure was swallowing him whole, receding only to come back with more mind-blowing force.

Kaizuka spent some time just leisurely stroking his cock. Slaine found himself eagerly raising his hips to get more of the wonderful torturous friction. He felt like he was soaring and Kaizuka had chosen exactly that moment to lean forward his upper body and unite their lips. Slaine didn’t expect a kiss but he went into it with a hunger he didn’t know he possessed. Maybe it was because Kaizuka kept pleasuring him even while they kissed. Slaine pressed his lips firmly against the intruding ones and tilted his head to the side. Kaizuka’s lips were wet, hot, firm yet soft, demanding at one moment and obliging in the next. Kaizuka was kissing him in a variety of ways, and it felt like a pleasant fight, a fiery rivalry, and Slaine drank it all, air becoming scarce.

They were still kissing when Slaine felt Kaizuka’s fingers going lower, behind his cock and balls, touching everything on his way like it was his territory, like Slaine belonged to him, and Slaine couldn’t hold back from making sounds when Kaizuka slid his fingers into the cleft between his buttocks and touched him there. The touch was light, exploring, only teasing yet, but Slaine’s whole body trembled, his omega nature coming alive in sheer seconds. He could feel his skin, his muscles, his blood scream with joy, with delight, with the long-forgotten need to finally belong to an alpha.

He would beg Kaizuka to have him if he could form words but it was like a fog had curtained his mind and all he managed was to spread his shaking legs invitingly and push Kaizuka closer in a silent demand to do everything to satisfy this strange unfamiliar need. He had broken their kiss and was now sniffing madly the curve of his neck, trying to get more of his scent and almost growling because he was unable to know it properly. He had forgotten he needed to act like a beta, like a simple man would, and he didn’t care anymore. Let Kaizuka think he was a pervert, a crazy lonely guy - who the hell cared!

It must have puzzled Kaizuka too because he carefully gripped his hair and forced him to arch his head to the side so that he could easily check his scent with his nose, but there would be no scent, Slaine was pretty sure of it. The suppressant in his blood was profound, to the point of destructive; it made sure he had no scent, no heats and it would surely make sure he’d be unable to conceive. Slaine whimpered as Kaizuka dragged his teeth down his neck a bit harsher than, perhaps, he intended to - like he too was frustrated of no traces of omega on his skin.

Slaine felt Kaizuka’s fingers circling his entrance, then probing it a bit, and he shivered as lust flared up in all of his body. His insides were twisting, burning with the desire to be filled; his cock was twitching. He wanted to be so wet and accepting for Kaizuka so that his cock would slide into him easily, with no pain or discomfort, and he almost cursed out loud because instead of finally uniting their bodies Kaizuka had to work to get him lubricated first. Kaizuka pulled away to get more liquid out of the tube and Slaine watched as he covered his fingers with it, not caring some of it had spilled onto the bed. He stared at his firm shoulders, the ever-present eye-patch, at his slightly opened lips as it seemed like breathing through his nose wasn’t bringing enough air to him. Kaizuka was very much aroused too; his chest heaved, his hard cock brushed Slaine’s thigh where Kaizuka sat.

The alpha in Kaizuka wanted him. Despite that he was under the suppressant and had no alluring scent. Despite that he was scarred and bony and inexperienced. Slaine suddenly wanted to cry from the thought. It was a good thing Kaizuka returned his gentle hands on him in time; his mind blissfully blanked again.

Having fingers inside of him was maddening. The touch burned him, forcing his insides to spasm more and more and more as if Kaizuka’s fingers were his cock and he needed to milk it dry. Kaizuka looked strained now; his forehead was wet, and some of his dark hair was stuck to it. If Slaine was in his place he doubted he could be so patient and mindful. Kaizuka was making sure they both were going to enjoy the sex to the fullest; he spent enough time to make Slaine relax and aroused and never complained about his lack of action. He would be a perfect alpha for someone - someone who wasn’t Slaine - but, shit, he _wasn’t_ going to ponder about it now.

Kaizuka was going to put his cock in and Slaine hastily rolled onto his belly. It wasn’t that he would feel uncomfortable watching his face during the intercourse but the idea of looking at his firm chest while he’d move his hips, at his cock disappearing inside his body… No, it would force him to finish in seconds and he wanted a long ride. One long delectable ride he would remember for the rest of his life.

“Relax,” Kaizuka breathed out as he kneaded his buttocks and slid one hand up his arched back with a soft push down. Slaine clutched at his pillow, cheek pressed into it as he felt how Kaizuka pulled his hips closer to his own body, how he shifted behind him and replaced his knees to find a better, steady position. The anticipation was killing him; every touch felt like a scorch of fire. But even though Slaine already felt ready and stretched enough Kaizuka used lubricant again, poured it directly over the cleft between his buttocks.

When the tip of Kaizuka’s cock touched him he gasped. He never expected himself to be so sensitive down there but it seemed like every millimeter of his backside was threaded with nerves. And those nerves exploded when in just one leisurely push Kaizuka slid inside of him - whole.

It wasn’t painful at all as they stayed connected for a moment, rocking just a bit to perceive each other and get comfortable. It felt hot and tight and made him believe like it was the only right thing he had ever done in his life, like his place was always supposed to be here, near Kaizuka. That he should be held by his bestowing hands, warmed by his tender lips, loved and cared for - unconditionally. It made him half-moan, half-sob into the pillow and he couldn’t help moving back to meet Kaizuka’s first slow thrusts.

Kaizuka’s cock went deliberately faster and deeper with every move. It rubbed his insides thoroughly, dearly. Slaine would writhe desperately from the striking pleasure but he could move only a little, controlled by Kaizuka’s strong grip on his hips. Thinking was impossible either: as soon as he’d manage to gulp the much needed air a new wave of blinding sensations would throw him back on the bed, on sweaty sheets, helpless short whines dying on his lips. He loved it; he loved every second of it; he loved the moments when he’d feel Kaizuka silently shudder behind him or when he’d hear his quiet gasps. Kaizuka was enjoying this - _him_ \- too.

Kaizuka picked the pace up and his steady thrusts continued endlessly. But he’d pause from time to time to alternate them with long delicious moves, his hands holding him so tightly during those moments that Slaine wanted to impale himself on his cock even deeper. Was Kaizuka taking time to appreciate how his own cock was wrecking his body? Too eager to have more friction, Slaine would shift frantically his backside until Kaizuka would have mercy and give it to him - those fast deliberate thrusts reminding him who was in control.

He was hot and sweaty; the air around them had been warmed up by their activity. His unfocused look snatched an image of the darkened hall behind the metal bars of his cell. Guards tended to leave on long breaks whenever Kaizuka was around - or maybe Kaizuka ordered them to - but there was no guarantee no one would see them, no one would come to check on them and find the utmost debauchery they were participating in. In the past there were also cameras in his cell - when the UFE was convinced he was a danger and needed to be monitored - and he moaned from the thought that some UFE officer was staring at them right now or maybe there was a whole crowd of them who watched and listened to the squishy sounds their bodies made when they connected. But - _nonono_ \- Kaizuka must have thought of this before they started; he wasn’t that dumb. They were safe.

“What should I do when I come? Do you want me to leave your body?” Kaizuka asked as their hot frenzy seemed to reach that inevitable stage where they both fiercely wanted to chase the final. Slaine wasn’t disappointed it was going to end; the billow-like sensation of the approaching pleasure was welcome - more than welcome. He wanted it, needed it - oh, he so needed it to flood him.

“No,” he meowed helplessly. It was nice of Kaizuka to ask but the omega in him wanted to be filled with semen. The pure image of how it’d pour out of his body later made him gasp in satisfaction and added feelings to the already overfilling cup.

“Are you sure? It might hurt if I knot you,” Kaizuka’s voice was breathy. He was right of course: betas could be easily hurt by the knotting but he wasn’t a beta. Even though his body wasn’t self-lubricating because of the suppressant he was very relaxed from the lube Kaizuka had used, plus his omega nature made his body succumb to any of the alpha’s demands even on a physical level. Right now his insides felt soft, accepting, ready to receive every inch of Kaizuka’s hard cock, every precious drop of his come.

“I don’t care,” Slaine sobbed, his whole body trembling from the surges of the sharp pulsating focusing in his lower body. “ _Give it to me now_.”

As if answering to his immediate demand Kaizuka shifted on the bed, bent low, pressing him into the sheets with the abundance of force, his hands moving deeper round Slaine’s hips to hold his body tightly close. His pace broke into array of savage thrusts, each and every brushing Slaine’s deepest sweetest spots, and all he could do was only accept this attack and stifle the shameful sounds.

“ _Troyard_.”

It wasn’t his name but, still, it was _his_ surname, said in a very-very tense voice. Kaizuka wasn’t fucking a faceless person; Kaizuka was doing _him_. The whole of Slaine’s body contracted, throwing him beyond the edge. Pleasure rippled through his every cell, making him see white. He would have howled but he had no air so he grabbed the bed sheets and twitched furiously to meet Kaizuka’s last thrusts.

His insides clenched, locking Kaizuka’s cock inside him, and finally Kaizuka surrendered a real sound - a painful mixture of a moan and a growl. And then Slaine could feel it: hot come filling his insides to the brim, marking him forever; Kaizuka’s cock plunging so deep into him that for a moment he felt torn. And the feeling suddenly grew and grew as if Kaizuka’s cock was becoming larger with very second. Belatedly, he realized Kaizuka was knotting him: the knot swelled at the base of his cock to help keep his come inside his body. It would have been too much for a beta indeed but for him it felt… wonderful.

“You like it?” Kaizuka asked, astonished, breathless, showering his sweaty scarred back with slow thankful kisses.

Slaine stayed silent, he wasn’t able to speak at this point. How he could _not_ like it? Kaizuka’s knot made sure his cock couldn’t slip out of his body, and his clenched insides tried to milk it dry, tried to push it even further so that he’d definitely be able to conceive. Moreover, orgasms kept coming wave after wave after wave. His own cock had spilled onto the bed, and oh, what a depravity it was. Slaine realized he was lying on the bed, powerless to move, shivering when a new pleasure wave would grip his body. Saliva was dripping down the corner of his opened mouth, depraving the pillow, and he didn’t even care he could not find strength to wipe it off.

He was so done. He felt so good. He’d never regret a second of it. Kaizuka was amazing too: the way he kept massaging his back to help him float in the afterglow and the way he kept his body weight off him while their bodies were still united made him speechless. He watched part of Kaizuka’s face over his shoulder - could not see him fully in this position - and the omega in him seemed to be pleased to see Kaizuka so flushed and sated.

When they unlocked he could feel Kaizuka’s come leaking down his inner thighs; it was a strangely pleasant sensation. He’d just lie there and revel in it but the predictable emptiness inside after Kaizuka had pulled his cock out distracted him. He made an attempt to change his body position, to bring his legs together to minimize the unfamiliar discomfort but it was futile. His eyes were closing; he would be in the land of dreams shortly. Kaizuka started moving around but he was too tired to keep track of him. Soon he was asleep.

“Troyard.”

He opened one eye. His cell was dark, illuminated only by the faint light that came from far ahead in the hall. He guessed it was after midnight; the night sky behind his small window was black, moonless; there weren’t any starts out today. He groaned, rolling into the direction from where Kaizuka’s voice came, and got tangled in the blanket. His body felt heavy, flooded by small aches everywhere, so his motions were very slow. He thought against sitting on the bed - even the Empress herself wouldn’t be able to force him to move more than he already did at this moment.

Kaizuka stood over him, fully clothed, ready to leave. Slaine wondered why he hadn’t left earlier but he was so sleepy he simply croaked, “What?” He wanted to rest before he could really use his head and reflect upon their intercourse.

“It’s late and I need to go. I just wanted to check that you feel fine.”

If anything Slaine felt groggy like he had run a marathon and won. Yet despite the small aches he guessed overall the residing feelings were… pleasant. He had been held and caressed and sated and obviously taken care of afterwards. He didn’t feel sticky anywhere; the bedsheets smelled fresh and he was covered with a proper blanket. Kaizuka was unexpectedly… decent, even generous in the way he treated him today.

“I feel… indescribably… great,” he decided to be honest. It may just have been the best day in his life and he owed it to Kaizuka.

“Good. I will see you next Sunday,” Kaizuka said instead of a farewell and was gone. Slaine didn’t care; he rolled back onto his other side which felt more comfortable to lie on and wrapped himself up in the blanket. Blissful sleep waited just a second ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I had written the prison sex. Now I can go back to prison angst.  
> Also don't ask me how the omegaverse stuff works. I am a romance writer, not a science writer. That's my one and only excuse!

Propping himself over the toilet bowl he retched violently. It felt like all his innards wanted to crawl outside; the bitter stinking bile kept in his throat no matter how many times he emptied his stomach. It was getting insane. He considered himself pretty tough when it came to sicknesses and physical pains, and he was fine for a while when nausea first started two weeks ago. He had thought that perhaps he had eaten something wrong, then that it was a virus of some kind, then that he should ask the guards or Kaizuka to call the medic for an unplanned check-up since maybe there was some major trouble with his stomach. He had put the last decision off in hope the sickness would pass on its own; he hated those silent medical check-ups when an uncaring medic would bark orders for him to do and Kaizuka would silently stare from the corner of the room.

And now he was at a loss what to do. The nausea bothered him daily, round-the-clock and kept through two weeks. Two days were fine but two weeks had him extremely exhausted, and the strangest thing was that throughout the whole ordeal, despite retching, he craved food. It was tortuous: whenever he tried to eat he would later find himself near the toilet again, trying to keep the blasted food in him to survive. He knew it was not normal; he had lost weight already, and it kind of scared him because he was thin and bony even before the shit started.

He splashed water at his face, hands shaking, then brushed his teeth and dropped back into bed, feeling dizzy and weak. His gaze went up to his small window but the sky today was the unexciting white, covered wholly by the pervasive clouds. He stared at the grey ceiling instead before he pulled out his small notepad from under his pillow. The notepad was one of Kaizuka’s favors, and Slaine sometimes used it to write down his thoughts or make ugly sketches of whatever came to his mind. He wasn’t a great artist and wasn’t getting better at it despite his silly attempts but it helped to stave off the boredom.

What interested him today though weren’t his writings or drawings, no - he opened the notepad at the end and looked reluctantly at the small calendar there, fingers sliding over the list of dates to find the current month. He counted the weeks in his head, grimaced, forced himself not to crumple the innocent paper. Yet it clicked. It fit. It _fit_.

Maybe he did a lot of idiotic things in his life but he wasn’t a complete fool.

…

It would actually explain his state if it were true. Maybe. He wasn’t an expert.

…

But it couldn’t be. He was under the suppressant. No way. Absolutely impossible.

…

What if it _was_ true?

…

After all it had been exactly two months since their intercourse; Kaizuka had knotted him perfectly, and he never before had any symptoms or health problems that could hint at any other approaching illness.

…

Okayokay. He should stay calm and objective and think about this thoroughly. Because if he avoided thinking about it further who knew what would happen… Pregnancy or not his health was deteriorating and he needed help. Even if it _was_ pregnancy he doubted he was supposed to retch the whole day long; he had heard that pregnancies might cause a lot of nasty stuff but, surely, losing weight in the second month wasn’t normal.

He rubbed his face and remembered the sex grudgingly. It was good, satisfying; even though he felt ill he still shivered as memories of Kaizuka’s gentle, yet firm touch flooded him. He had spent many long nights wanting a repeat but decided against it. He was a prisoner and he wasn’t supposed to get attached to anyone. He also knew himself, his own nature: that deep-deep down, under his stoic bitter façade, he still craved to be loved. And he was a sinful monster who didn’t deserve love. Moreover, Kaizuka might leave one day - change work or decide to settle at a faraway place or anything, really - and then he’d feel the loss as he’d felt it with Asseylum.

Kaizuka didn’t ask him for a repeat either. The only thing he said when he visited the next time was “I should thank you for the experience, Troyard. Work had been piling lately, and it helped me relax.” And Slaine was pretty fine with the conclusion of it, even a bit pleased with Kaizuka’s acknowledgement. They went back to their usual meetings on Sunday as if nothing ever happened.

Today was Sunday as well. He had managed to sit somehow through the previous two visits but today he needed to decide what to do. At best, they would determine he was ill after the check-up, at worst - they’d know that he was an omega and pregnant. How would the UFE react? How many troubles it would cause for Kaizuka? Slaine felt sick again from the only thought of the mess he might cause but there was no way he could keep silent. He was tired, so tired, and he simply wanted a normal meal he would keep down and then sleep peacefully.

But, well, he mused, deciding to tell the truth didn’t mean it was going to be easy.

Kaizuka had marched into his cell at six o’clock, precise as usual. He held a chessboard under his armpit and in his other hand - a bag of cakes. When he put the cakes on the table Slaine felt his mouth watering. The cursed things looked delicious - with soft layers of chocolate and what looked like strawberries in-between. But he had made the same mistake earlier this week, ate waffles that were served to him during the dinner on Wednesday, and then spent half of the night vomiting them out. He should avoid the cakes; he would; he _had_ to.

He gulped the saliva nervously and brought his glass of water to his lips. He was thankful that at least water didn’t cause any nausea. Meanwhile Kaizuka was setting the chessboard and Slaine knew that any other day he’d feel excited for their upcoming match. Kaizuka was a genius strategist; he played every move in his head, was aware of all the pieces on the board at any second, so the only way to play against him was to make his moves totally unpredictable which was hard because Kaizuka Inaho could predict everything, and that meant he needed to create moves that had endless possibilities, created illogical chaos on the board and led Kaizuka to the unavoidable doubts about his defense and offense. In essence it was close to impossible but Slaine was content about every little win. Playing Kaizuka was entertaining, and he rather preferred it to their real past battles. But today he wouldn’t be able to focus; he barely had energy to leave bed and place himself on the stool.

“You don’t look well today.” Kaizuka had noticed it too and looked at him carefully. “A cold?”

Slaine bit his lip and locked his fingers over his lap, averting his eyes. The fear was immense but he had to do it. God, how one was supposed to tell a person he had only slept once with, ‘Hey, hi, I might be pregnant, sorry for the inconvenience, but what do I do next?’ Unthinkable yet here he was - a tiny bug in the teeth of the deathly fire. He breathed in air and said in a very strained voice, “We need to talk.”

Kaizuka watched him, wordlessly moved the chessboard to the side; his hands stayed over the table as he adjusted his cuffs - they looked a bit wrinkled. Kaizuka must have been dressed in his uniform the whole day; was he working on Sundays too? Not that it mattered right now. At least Kaizuka had never refused him help if he needed it and he felt a bit better when Kaizuka said, “Go on.”

“I… I… I…” he shut up as he realized that he had repeated the same word several times. Even Kaizuka sat back in his chair and blinked; Slaine was sure he had shown him a variety of faces before - sad, angry, calm, even friendly - but he had never been a stuttering idiot. Alright, he just had to move forward like he always did. _“Imightbepregnant.”_

Kaizuka shifted in his seat, he lifted one hand into the direction of his eye-patch but stilled halfway and returned it on the table. Slaine breathed through his panic, waiting for a reaction and hoping Kaizuka had deciphered his words because no way in hell he was going to repeat them. He already felt like dashing into the toilet bowl and drowning himself there. It would probably pleasure everyone: the UFE would stop wasting funds on his prison conditions; Kaizuka would have more time for himself on Sundays, and the Empress would finally stop sending those silly messages once a year with the empty promises of visits.

“I do not appreciate any joking of this kind, Troyard. You’re a male beta; you cannot be pregnant,” Kaizuka sounded cold, yet his posture didn’t change as if he was rather puzzled by Slaine’s words and couldn’t figure out how to react, like he didn’t believe Slaine could do a joke of such low quality but it meant that Slaine was not joking.

It was now or never.

“I am an omega,” he rasped out, and felt as bile climbed up his throat. It was probably anxiety that sparked his nausea anew. Thankfully toilet wasn’t far away; it was right in his cell and he reached it in one jump and threw up under Kaizuka’s frozen look. The bile kept coming, mostly water he drank earlier, but the spasms were so forceful he could not extract himself from the place. His mind blanked; whatever strength he had managed to gain before Kaizuka’s visit had been burned away. It made him want to sob and he brought up his arm to hide his face.

He was disgusting: a stinking, sweaty mess of bones and flesh, a weakling, a liar, and he never wanted to be any of it in Kaizuka’s presence. Even before they had the intercourse Slaine had considered Kaizuka to be a good person. They weren’t friends but Kaizuka’s steady care of him, Kaizuka’s genuine interest in him as a conversationalist and their long chess battles had made him value their time together. And now everything would be destroyed.

His legs shook and he didn’t try to get up - partly because he was unable to, and partly because he was too afraid to look at Kaizuka. It came as a shock when he felt a strong hand land against his shoulder blades; it went up and down his back in slow, soothing, repetitive motions. It made him want to sob more but he controlled himself and, still fearful, met Kaizuka’s gaze.

Kaizuka was sitting near him on the floor now, pale. He had rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and didn’t give a shit about touching his wrecked body or that he’d dirty his perfectly ironed blue pants. Slaine shuddered, ashamed, yet aching for the support he was provided. He had never had anyone to rub his back whenever he felt ill; he’d often get disgusted stares as he crawled back to his room after Trillram or anyone would beat him to a pulp. He was always alone to nurture himself.

Slaine was so grateful Kaizuka wasn’t lashing out at him, that he didn’t simply leave and force him to deal with the mess on his own. Instead - he kept rubbing his back as he retched and retched until his body was satisfied it was empty. After the spasms ended he stayed hunched over the toilet, arms folded on its rim, his head lying on them. He had no desire to move; if he could just stop time and enjoy Kaizuka’s rubs he’d gladly spend the eternity like this. Yet, a couple of minutes later Kaizuka’s hands came around him gently and helped him up.

Feeling hollow, he let Kaizuka lead him to the bed and lied down on it, then accepted the miraculously cold wet towel Kaizuka had brought and wiped his face with trembling hands. Kaizuka had yet to utter any words but he definitely wasn’t going to leave. He sat on the edge of his bed and was silent for a while, either gathering his thoughts or giving him a break to find his breath.

“How can it be?” he asked at last, placing his arms on his knees and looking at him sideways. “And why have you never told anyone about it?”

“I am under the long-duration suppressant,” Slaine admitted. “It was supposed to work for years.”

He didn’t know exactly why he never told anyone. It wasn’t that omegas were hated on Vers and Earth or anything of the sort; perhaps, he simply wished not to be cooed over. If the UFE knew he was an omega they might have treated him differently, like they treated female prisoners - with more allowances - and he didn’t deserve it. And he surely never wanted the Empress to be notified about his gender; if she wrote to him in pity or finally came to see him to wallow about his situation he would simply break. He didn’t want pity.

“So you had unprotected sex with me while fully knowing you can conceive and you let me knot you too?” Kaizuka’s voice sounded the same as before but he touched his wristwatch and started fiddling with it; it gave away his agitation. “What are you aiming for, Troyard? Did you plan to become pregnant and use it as leverage against me-“

“What… Just what kind of shit are you putting on me?” he cut Kaizuka short, baring his teeth; fury forced him to sit on the bed and smack his fist against the wall. His wrist and fingers flared in pain but he was too angry to care. “I am under the suppressant! I wasn’t supposed to get _pregnant_!”

Kaizuka didn’t even flinch, watching his outburst, but his hand suddenly stilled over his wristwatch. “I don’t understand, Troyard, how is the suppressant supposed to prevent pregnancy?”

Slaine felt as if a wave of cold water hit him straight in the face; it ran down his body, making him terrified, rooting him forever to the place.

“It… it _doesn’t_?” he asked in a weak voice.

“It only prevents your heats and bodily reactions by drastically lowering the amount of certain hormones in your body. That said, it _might_ cause major health problems and the inability to conceive but it’s never a guarantee. Not when it comes to a full sexual encounter.”

He vaguely remembered the time he had asked for the shot. He had been horrified of the need that had suddenly awakened in his body and demanded he find an alpha immediately. He loved Asseylum dearly and it disgusted him to no end that he had turned into an omega. He didn’t have time to waste on his new nature, his plans to take Saazbaum’s place were too important to postpone or ignore. He asked Harklight to find someone who could give him the suppressant and keep quiet about it, and the beta was very helpful.

The doctor who did the shot was a silent type and only pointed out the amount of years it would stay in his blood. Now that Slaine thought about it he had never really studied properly about the alpha-beta-omega genders, his father was too busy with his research to educate him. Why was he so sure the suppressant would keep him from becoming pregnant? The thought must have accidently got into his brain and stayed there ever since, and he believed it to be true. He was an uneducated idiot.

“I’m… I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry….” He gasped, panic gripping him once more into its unbearable clutches. He kept mumbling words that were pointless for they couldn’t fix the situation at all. “I didn’t know… No one told me… I…”

He wanted to die. He pressed himself into the wall and curled into himself, painfully sinking his nails into his chest over his madly beating heart. Why was he even alive? Was it his destiny to ruin people’s lives along with his own? His eyes burned but tears were useless. He wheezed, his body automatically trying to get air but his throat suddenly felt too tight. His head whirled and he was sick again; the unpleasant pain in the left part of his chest came alive.

Kaizuka acted fast; he didn’t let him focus on his thoughts, on his terror - he climbed onto his bed, sat on his knees and uncurled his fingers on both of his hands to take them into his own, then he searched for his eyes. Panting, Slaine looked at his face, lost and scared and mindless, but Kaizuka’s hands were really warm and he held him tenderly. He was not enraged or repulsed by him.

“Troyard, breathe… breathe with me,” he asked him softly. “On count of one-two-three-four… Please, you need to calm down.”

Slowly, he breathed together with Kaizuka until he felt like he was himself again, and the uncontrolled fear receded. He felt even weaker than he was before and when Kaizuka stopped the count he couldn’t help but drop his head against his shoulder - simply because they were sitting very close at this point. Kaizuka kept caressing his hands, the tips of his fingers going over and over his sharp knuckles, and finally Slaine sobbed, an awful painful sound rang in the back of his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated between the waves of unstoppable tears. The cloth of Kaizuka’s white shirt was rapidly getting wet from his tears and snot but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. He needed someone to be there right now, to make sure with his own eyes he was still viewed as a human and not as a monstrous abnormality.

“It’s alright. I’m at fault too,” Kaizuka said quietly. It seemed like he hesitated for a moment but then he let go of his hand and Slaine felt as his arm went around him. Kaizuka held him close in a real embrace. “We shall get through this. I’ll do all in my power to solve this. I’ll be there, I promise.”

He didn’t know if there were ways to truly _solve_ this but Kaizuka’s promise made him feel as if he wasn’t alone anymore. Kaizuka was willing to stay by him, and he didn’t expect him to, not when it would possibly ruin his career or even his whole life. Yet he still gave him that promise. Slaine closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into Kaizuka’s collarbone - in silent boundless gratitude.

***

After the additional small talk during which Slaine somehow managed to describe his nausea troubles Kaizuka had relocated to the table and prepared them tea. By that time Slaine had rested and calmed down enough to find strength to climb from the bed and brush his teeth and join him. He still felt warm where Kaizuka had held him and somehow it soothed him enough to be able to continue their talk. Tea also tasted good and seemed to settle in his stomach nicely for now.

“We don’t have time,” Kaizuka concluded finally. “The suppressant should be out of your blood whether you want it or not. I’m pretty sure the fault with your terrible sickness lies in that it tries to mess with the pregnancy. How we proceed next comes afterwards. Troyard, you get it?”

He nodded, staring into his cup guiltily. He was afraid to ask questions about the UFE and what exactly Kaizuka was going to report to them. They wouldn’t react to the news in a welcome manner, would they? God, what if the news would reach the Empress? What would she say, who would she blame? The only thought about it was sickening.

“Slaine,” Kaizuka said gravely. Slaine looked up to meet his eye, surprised Kaizuka had called him by his name. “I need to tell you this honestly. I cannot know how the higher-ups will react and I cannot lie to them that your pregnancy is someone else’s fault. If you _are_ pregnant - and it seems like you are - it would be easy to check after the childbirth if of course they will let… no, let’s not get negative before we know anything. What I want to say is I might be removed from my duties, suspended or charged even. I may not be there for a while. But I will stand by my words. I want to be there.”

“I understand,” and he did. Even though the prison was created solely for him it wasn’t a brothel, and Kaizuka was in charge of it - in charge of all the personnel and everything the prison needed. He was the person with the utmost power here and by going along with Slaine’s whim he had abused that power. Slaine didn’t mind, he had only good memories of the day, but, of course, it wouldn’t look so to Kaizuka’s superiors.

“I will ask for the special medical team immediately after I leave right now. I expect they will arrive early tomorrow as it will take some time before I explain the situation and, of course, it takes time to gather people and go through the bureaucracy. I will also try to ask a good acquaintance of mine to be on the team to be sure you will be taken care of. He is not an obstetrician and won’t be in the lead but you can trust him. If I manage it expect him to approach you.”

Kaizuka was already putting a lot of thought into his next actions and Slaine only felt despair because the only thing he could do was sit there and not retch. He did manage to utter, “Thanks.” He was obliged to Kaizuka for being so cool and professional about the problem instead of just thrashing him within an inch of his life so that he’d lose the child.

“Slaine,” Kaizuka addressed him as he got up. His name was voiced much softer this time, and he raised his face to look at him again. Kaizuka made a pause as if he tried to find the right words to soothe him but then failed and said instead, “I need to go. Please, try to rest.”

He was going to be left alone once more and he didn’t know if he would ever see Kaizuka at all. He felt so tired, so scared he suddenly wanted to grip Kaizuka’s wrist and never let go. But he knew it’d lead them nowhere and he _needed_ help. So he only curled his fingers over his knees and let Kaizuka walk out of his cell.

The night was sleepless; anxiety kept him up. He vomited a couple of times and by the time the dawn came he was exhausted and stayed half-asleep over the toilet. It was the way the medical team had found him but he didn’t feel embarrassed. He felt nothing; the only thing he wanted was for the nausea to stop and then maybe sleep - for a week or so.

There were three people on the team and they were accompanied by the usual guards who opened the cell bars for them; Kaizuka was nowhere around. The bald young guy with muscled arms eyed him warily but didn’t seem to bear any hate towards him; he looked strong and was probably a nurse. The woman stepped inside his cell first despite the guards’ discontent and he liked her right away - he guessed she must be the team leader, an obstetrician. She didn’t waste time and fell onto her knees and pressed her palm to his forehead to check his temperature. She didn’t mind he smelled gross and that he looked like a dead man. She was in her forties, her long dark wavy hair were gathered into a ponytail and she wore glasses; yet what surprised him was her calming small smile she greeted him with.

“We need to relocate him to the medical chamber; he needs attention,” she barked in a surprisingly strong voice in the direction of the guards and then turned back to him and smiled again. “Hello, Slaine, as you might have guessed I am going to be your doctor. I will not lie to you and make things sweet, you are in a grave danger right now if you are indeed pregnant so we need to do all the analyses and fast. I’d very appreciate if you cooperate with us. We mean no harm.”

He whispered a tired ‘yes’ and the bald guy carefully helped him up and led him out of the cell. The guards stayed away, distracted by the third man of the team. Slaine caught a glance of him as he staggered down the hall towards the familiar medical chamber: the guy was in his thirties, had brown hair and looked very relaxed as he talked to the guards. They seemed to like him so much they forgot about Slaine at all. And for a brief moment he caught his glance and gave him a cheerful wave. Slaine turned away, confused, why would the stranger be so friendly but then again maybe the man was Kaizuka’s acquaintance. He guessed he would find out later.

The old door creaked and then he was in the familiar room, lying down on the familiar bed. The medical chamber wasn’t large: it was old, narrow and crowded with furniture and medical stuff. The woman huffed, moved things around to try and make a normal working space but at least she seemed satisfied that she had all the things she needed. “The UFE is usually shit at this but whoever was in charge of this room seemed to think of everything. I’ll applaud the guy when I meet him,” she said happily, holding a list of supplies; her partner nodded. “Slaine, dear, please wait a moment until we get ready.”

The way she spoke to him was soothing; she looked like she cared despite knowing who he was. He was also glad she was a woman; not that he had reasons to fear men but men often tended to be oblivious and businesslike - like his guards were - and he didn’t want people like that near his body. He stared at the white ceiling before he lowered his eyes. He knew whatever happened next would be a major turn in his life. His belly, hidden under his crumpled and dirty t-shirt, was flat; there were no signs of it growing at all. He supposed it was too early for it to grow yet, nevermind that he hadn’t eaten much. It terrified him to think there was a baby inside of him, neglected and malnourished already because of his idiocy of not asking for help earlier.

His thoughts were then cut as the woman was ready to start gathering the analyses. She introduced herself and her partner who was going to assist her and then it was a whirlpool of action: they dug for his medical history - which helped only a little - took his blood, did the urine test and asked him hundreds of questions; they scanned his belly with ultrasound, and by the time the woman sat on the stool near his bed, ready to talk to him, he was on the verge of falling asleep. The third man also came in and brought him a pillow, a clean blanket and water to drink.

“Slaine, stay with me for some more minutes, please,” she told him lovingly and asked her coworkers to leave the room. “We need to decide what we do next. I will be honest: I do not know what the UFE will plan after they get the affirmation of your pregnancy but you are indeed pregnant, eight weeks along. Now, as you know, there is a very heavy suppressant in your blood; and pregnancy and suppressants just don’t go together. People don’t take suppressants when they plan to have a child, you understand that? Basically, right now a fight is taking place in your body between the suppressant and your body’s need to save the child, and it’s what makes you so sick.”

He nodded, clutching the blanket in his trembling hands. He _was_ pregnant. He was pregnant with _Kaizuka’s_ child. Oh God, he was with a _child!_ To hear the confirmation - it was mind-blowing. He swallowed the shock and tried to focus on the obstetrician as she was continuing her speech.

“There are two ways we can proceed but I need your choice and your consent since the consequences might be crucial,” she looked very serious now and made sure he was listening to her. “First: we can give you a shot of the anti-suppressant; it will clear your blood and save the pregnancy, and later, depending on the UFE’s decision, you will be free to either give birth to the child safely or they might force you to get rid of it. Whatever it is going to be, your life, your health won’t be in any danger. But… there is a price. Since the suppressant you used is a long-duration one, the anti-shot will have the same amount of ‘power’. You won’t be able to use any suppressants in the future; you will have to live your life as an omega. And I mean it: even the short-term suppressants won’t be able to work.”

He hid his face in his shaking hands but soon felt as the obstetrician patted his shoulder. More shit was going to come, he could feel it.

“Now,” she continued softly, “There’s another option but I’d really prefer if you don’t choose it. We can get rid of your child right now, Slaine. The sickness will stop and the suppressant will stay in your blood, and you will be able to renew it when the time comes. But because of the pregnancy its effects right now are so heavy that if you let it stay in your blood, even though you won’t be pregnant anymore, it will take time for its effects to go back to their usual influence. You won’t feel it on the physical level but it will take months. As a result high chances are you will become infertile. Now I know that you are a prisoner and may think that the ability to have children might not be for you but one can never know his future. So please think carefully of what you choose now. I will give you some time, alright? But remember we need to act fast; if we leave things to how they are your life will be in danger.”

The woman left, the door closed behind her quietly. Slaine made a sound and bent to hide his head between his knees. It was just too much for him, too much and he wanted Kaizuka to be there. How could he make choices like _that_ without him? Maybe he didn’t care about _his_ life but the child inside of him was _Kaizuka’s._ How could he kill it now? How would Kaizuka react? Slaine didn’t care about his omega nature, his fertility be damned, but _a child…_

He breathed forcefully through his nose. He needed to calm down and think it through objectively. If he decided to get rid of the pregnancy it might help Kaizuka with the UFE: maybe they wouldn’t punish him much if there were no difficulties to follow. Kaizuka might get disappointed in him and detest him, but in either case his higher-ups would probably never allow him to continue his work as his overseer. They would never see each other again. And for him personally it meant he would live with his guilt of not-trying-to-save-the-child and he would have no materials to fill his time with. He doubted a new overseer would bring him books and tasty food.

If he chose the anti-shot however there would be hell on Earth to follow. If the UFE allowed him to give birth he guessed Kaizuka would take the child in and care for him. Their child would have a family even though he would never be a part of it. In this case he would probably never see Kaizuka after his delivery too, _but_ he’d become an omega with no suppressants to hold off his heats and the mere thought was terrible. How would the UFE deal with his needs? Would they let him rot in agony with no alpha by his side to help him or would they find him someone - a random partner or a crude guard? He’d have to do suicide because no way in hell he was going to live through the humiliation. And if the UFE forced him to get rid of the child the consequences would be the same, with the addition of the remorse that he hadn’t been able to save his child in the end.

He wanted to gouge his eyes out. There wasn’t any simple choice to make and Kaizuka wasn’t there to help as he had promised. What should he do? Just _whatshouldhedo_?

There was a knock on the door and he looked up to see the third man of the medical team walking inside. He still hadn’t introduced himself and Slaine didn’t quite know what to expect. The obstetrician had given him time to think and, in all honestly, he wanted to be left alone right now. The man crossed the narrow space and sat on the stool; he looked very cordial and kept his hands in the pockets of his white robe, indicating he was no danger.

“Hello,” he smiled kindly. “I believe Inaho should have mentioned I would be here. My name is Yagarai Soma, and I kind of had been his personal doctor during the war.”

Slaine stayed silent, only looked at him. He wanted to ask him where Kaizuka was but he was pretty sure the man wouldn’t know. He and the rest of the medical team had too little time to get to the prison. If Kaizuka got detained shortly afterwards the UFE would definitely force him to cease all contacts. Having been in the prison for years he knew how these things worked.

His silence didn’t sadden Yagarai. He nodded knowingly and added in the same friendly manner, “Well, I know that you are in a very difficult situation right now, and I can help only a little. But! Inaho did tell me he will do his best to reach you when he can so, please, he asked you not to give in to despair. It’s a foolish choice.”

Slaine turned away and grimaced. Not losing hope at this point felt like a miracle he didn’t believe in. Yet… Kaizuka’s words, the replica of those he had said to him during their final battle, ignited a strange fire inside of him. Like he wanted to fight still, like he wished to try and carry out his life - or whatever was left of it - honorably. He was never - never a coward; he was a fighter and he needed to fight through this too. Not for Kaizuka, not for the baby. He needed to do it for _himself_.

He would keep the child.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, when I started this I truly didn't expect it to grow as it did in my head by now. I can only say it will probably have 10+ chapters? I do warn you: major angst is yet ahead - lots of it for our poor baby but he's strong, isn't he. For now I'm excited for writing the whole ride; let's hope I do net get stuck anywhere.

The shot of the anti-suppressant was painful but he was used to the pain so he only clenched his teeth and gripped the side of the bed. When it was over he panted; bright light overhead hurt his eyes; he rolled to his side. The obstetrician helped him cover himself with a blanket and then dimmed the lights. She told him he would probably get sleepy and that if everything went well he’d get up feeling much better. He hoped he would. He hoped he didn’t make an irreversible mistake. He was thankful he felt so tired: thoughts scattered as he closed his eyes.

There was a hazy silhouette standing above him. Sounds arrived as if they were distant echoes. He grunted with displeasure as his blanket was moved lower, baring his arms. He was so sleepy and felt so good; there were small aches in his body and his arms and legs felt numb, yet he felt wonderful and didn’t want to get up. He wished not to move for the next century.

“Sorry for waking you up, Slaine, dear, but it’s been twenty four hours already and I just need a bit of your blood to check our situation. Also you might want to drink some water.”

He recognized the obstetrician’s soft voice and slowly sat up, wobbling even in a sitting position. His mouth felt dry and he accepted the plastic bottle of water as soon as the nurse took his analysis. As cool water refreshed him his brain finally started to awaken. He realized he wasn’t feeling sick anymore and it was the most miraculous thing. More so, he desperately wanted to shower and even - eat. As he sat there dreaming about a simple chicken broth enough time must have passed because the obstetrician returned with his results.

“Everything is looking good, Slaine. We will keep monitoring you daily, of course, until we are sure the danger has passed,” she smiled at him and he gave her a small grateful smile in return. But it was short-lived. The second he stopped thinking about food thoughts about future crowded his mind. Anxious, he put the water bottle away and caught her glance; his hands started fidgeting nervously with the edge of his blanket. Kaizuka still wasn’t around so he had no one else to ask.

“What next?” his voice was quiet, almost fearful. He had made the large gamble by deciding to take the anti-suppressant and he couldn’t predict what would happen from now on. For all he knew the UFE could easily barge in any second and demand him or his child dead. The obstetrician was his best bet for any kind of information while Kaizuka was away.

She took off her glasses, smoothed her wavy strands that had escaped from her ponytail and settled on the stool near his bed. She looked very thoughtful before she told him, “Well, look, while your situation isn’t something you hear about often… it isn’t really unique. These things sometimes happen in prisons and I’m a bit familiar with the further… handling,” she paused, rubbed her temple. “What I can say with absolute confidence is that you can expect the UFE representative to visit you. Based upon the visit, the information you give them, they will decide how to proceed. _Usually_ they allow the omega or female beta prisoners to give birth, and then the children are transferred to the willing relatives or sent into the foster system. But you are Slaine Troyard and, sadly, I cannot promise you anything. But whatever it is - you need to be ready for the talk. I don’t know the details of how you became pregnant and I don’t have the right to ask but… think carefully what you tell them.”

He nodded, grateful for the warning. He kind of guessed the UFE will visit but he had hoped Kaizuka would be there first, and now he realized it wouldn’t be the case. Yet, his life wasn’t in danger now; he had medical attendants and they seemed like good people. He wondered if Kaizuka had chosen all of them personally.

“I don’t think the visit will take place this week,” the obstetrician clapped her hands cheerfully; her smile became a bit sly. “Because right now you’re in my care and until I say you’re ready they won’t dare come! So how about we discuss your new diet and what to expect from your pregnancy? Or maybe you want to know what to expect from your body since you never had the chances to enjoy being an omega?

Slaine stared at her in horror. What the heck had he gotten himself into?

***

Six days later his head was bursting from all the new knowledge he had thought he would never need. He learned that he wouldn’t have to fear heats until after the childbirth and that his sense of smell and his scent would soon become present. He learned he had to eat and sleep healthily now as well as do some physical activity. He learned how his belly would grow and what possible problems might arise as months would roll forward. Hell, having nothing better to do, the obstetrician even started teaching him how to breathe during his delivery.

He went along with all her crazy lessons and ideas on how to educate him because it was a good distraction while the days lasted. He was getting better; he happily ate now, followed her strict diet and was glad he was never picky about his food after eating krill on Vers. Upon the obstetrician’s insistence he was also allowed to shower every day and because of it he slept more peacefully than ever. At first the guards were pretty obstinate about keeping his showering regime but then he had spotted Yagarai Soma talking to them again and they quickly backed down, even gave him little apologizing smiles.

“Ha-ha, look at the guy using his omega charm on those idiotic alphas,” the obstetrician laughed softly. “A demon in disguise, I tell you! And he is supposed to be a psychiatrist. Seriously, psychiatrists these days…”

“He is an omega?” Slaine asked, curious. He had started to sense scents yesterday but they were still faint.

“Yes, he is. Last I heard he was happily married to an alpha,” the obstetrician nodded. “You’ll smell it very soon. I’m a beta so my nose isn’t that delicate but even I think his scent is pleasant. He’s a good man, really, constantly asks how he can be of help.”

Slaine knew relaxing was a bad idea but he couldn’t help it. He felt protected thanks to the people around him; event the silent nurse was very gentle when he took his blood or measured his blood pressure. He had never been so cared for in his whole life. He was actually their _work_ yet they still treated him with respect and talked to him like he was an ordinary patient - not a prisoner, not the fallen leader of Vers. It was like he was stuck somewhere where time didn’t matter, where the fact he was carrying a child never existed, like all he had to do was eat and sleep and talk and listen, and that was all there was to life.

It had shattered of course as Monday arrived.

The obstetrician came to his cell with a heavy sigh, “I’m afraid it happens today, Slaine. The UFE official is on the way. I tried wrangling over a couple of more days for you but there are no troubles with your health and I’d be fined if I were to tell a lie.”

“It’s alright. Thank you,” he said, feeling his insides clenching in fear. He dressed himself into a fresh t-shirt and tried to comb his messy hair - to no avail. He had washed his hair yesterday and fell asleep without drying them and now it stood in all directions. Not that the UFE representative would care about his looks; it was just a way to try and cope with the worry and he swore at himself.

The meeting took place in an old spacey room where he and Kaizuka used to meet and play chess, back in that first year when Kaizuka hadn’t yet been tasked with his supervision. He remembered their silent meetings, his own anger and the want to lash out at Kaizuka wistfully - it felt like it had happened in another life. The guards shoved him to his place hurriedly, even argued with each other whether they needed to cuff him to the chair or simply let him sit. Slaine had a wild guess that some high officer was coming to see him; the guards were too agitated. 

In the end they had cuffed his hands and left him to rest on the chair and wait; he placed his arms on the table and waited. The silence was palpable, devastating, but he curled his fingers together and breathed through his nose, images of the way Kaizuka had rubbed his back coming to mind. It would have been so great if he was here now, if he could stand behind his back and simply… keep his hand on his shoulder. He even tilted his head to the side to glance behind because the sudden image in his head was so vivid… but there was nothing - no one - only air.

He heard light footsteps before the door slid open and a tall man in the UFE attire had slowly wandered in. He was far from young; his hair was all grey and he wore elegant glasses; his face was full of furrows but he didn’t look threatening; there was a cup of a takeout coffee in his hand. He took his time to sit on the chair behind the other side of the table, put his coffee to the side and then simply looked at him for a long time, studying his appearance and, Slaine guessed, behavior.

He didn’t squirm: in the past Cruhteo’s harsh looks were way more unpleasant. But as time stretched he felt uncomfortable; his hand twitched. The man seemed to notice it; he took another sip of his coffee and then finally introduced himself, “My name is Eelis Hakkinen; I’m one of the few people who know about your current existence, Slaine Troyard. You can address me as Admiral Hakkinen as it is indeed my rank and I’m quite used to it.”

Slaine nodded carefully, not knowing what to say. Now that the Admiral started talking he was sure he’d get to the point soon anyway.

“I believe you know the reason why I’m here,” Hakkinen grimaced bitterly as he continued. “I’m quite disappointed in Kaizuka Inaho since he had been my protégé all these years but this meeting isn’t about him.”

If Kaizuka had been Hakkinen’s protégé all along it meant the Admiral was the one in charge of his life now. For a brief moment Slaine opened his mouth in an attempt to ask him where exactly Kaizuka was now but one strict look from him shut his lips firmly. Hakkinen had the familiar air of power and it was better not to mess with him. Questions about Kaizuka had to wait; his own fate was at stake here.

“Before we proceed and I tell you about your options I need to ask you a question, just one question. Depending on your answer the options will vary,” Hakkinen’s voice suddenly dropped to softer tones. “You understand it? I want your honest answer; there’s nothing to be feared so do not lie to me.”

“Yes,” Slaine agreed. Whatever he was asked there was no point to lie. He had been living in the prison for six years and he expected it to go on for the rest of his life. The short messages the Empress sent him once a year weren’t giving him any hopes of changes despite that her desire to save him had been the main reason for his imprisonment. If he had the right to choose he’d prefer her to allow him to do some kind of hard work so that he would really feel he was repenting, doing good - _building_ instead of just wasting resources that were keeping him alive. But it was foolish hope.

“If you answer affirmatively then I, as the UFE representative, am ready to give you a lot of concessions and the UFE will be held wholly responsible for your predicament. Tell me, Slaine Troyard, did Kaizuka Inaho _force you_ to have sex with him?”

Slaine stared at Hakkinen in shock. The fact that the UFE officer had been considering the possibility that he - _Slaine Troyard_ \- was _innocent_ felt like a blow to his gut. On Vers he’d be blamed and punished in a blink of an eye. He was a war criminal and yet Hakkinen was ready to treat him as a human, was ready to put his wellbeing above his own subordinate’s wellbeing. It was… not what he expected at all.

Realizing he was slow to respond, Hakkinen added in the same soft voice, “In case if it’s true we are ready to offer our most sincere apologies; we shall allow you to give birth - if you want it - and we shall relocate you to a safe comfortable house where you will spend the rest of your sentence. We shall allow you to keep and care about the child as well - if you want it. I hate the _mere idea_ of someone in the UFE abusing their power in such despicable ways and I am ready to do my utmost for any victims under my patronage.”

Terror flooded his body, his heart rubbed anxiously against his ribcage. The realization he could say just one word now - simply lie, simply say ‘yes’ - and he’d be settled comfortably _for life_. No more prison cells, no bars, no guards; instead - a home, a _future_. He could give birth and learn to care about his child, to love him; he would be able to _be_ with him - _to have a family_. Maybe they’d allow him to take in a pet too. Oh, how nice it would feel to wake up in a soft bed and look at the blue sky, to walk with his child and - a dog maybe? - somewhere along the beach near their house and laugh together as warm sand would tickle their toes.

Slaine put his elbows against the table and hid his face; the yearning he never knew he had burned his eyes with unshed tears. Just one word, one lie - and he’d be happy. He _wanted_ it. He _craved_ it. His shoulders shook. One word; three letters - and he would have all he ever wanted in life.

One word and - Kaizuka’s life would be destroyed forever.

He dug his nails painfully into his skull; memories assaulted his mind.

Unbidden, they blossomed before his eyes. There were the words said gently: _“It’s not only about safety, Troyard, but comfort too…”_ The watchful glances searching for his affirmation: _“Only if you are very sure.”_ The willingness to help: _“Do you want me to take over?”_ The generosity: _“I do not mind. Sex isn’t about gender.”_ The bestowed feeling of safety: _“I’m going to touch you and if you feel uncomfortable with anything tell me.”_ The care: _“Troubles?”_ _“What should I do when I come?”_ _“Are you sure? It might hurt if I knot you.”_ The appreciation: _“Troyard.”_

And the soothing promise that still rang in his ears: _“I will stand by my words. I want to be there.”_

He couldn’t; he _couldn’t_ lie. Not when Kaizuka’s future was at stake. Not when he knew they would likely arrest him and put him into prison for abuse, for rape. Not after Kaizuka had been so kind to him, so supportive, so… human. Slaine didn’t want to be a monster anymore. He had done so many mistakes during the war; he had been so blind and selfish so no, no, _no!_ He had already wasted his life and it was his own fault, no one else’s. He didn’t have the right to ruin Kaizuka’s future just because a glitter of hope had presented itself.

He breathed in air and told his answer. But even as he said “no” pain coiled in the pit of his stomach. He knew - he could _feel_ it - he had lost his last chance at life, his last miracle.

Hakkinen’s raised brow wrinkled his forehead; he was obviously surprised. “You could have lied right now and live freely. There are no cameras in your cell and since it’s been more than two months - apparently, no physical evidence. There is no way to check the truth. It would have been Kaizuka’s word against yours and I would have chosen yours because he was the one with the power over you. Humor my curiosity, Troyard: why have you decided to be honest and uphold what Kaizuka had stated in his report?”

He closed his eyes tiredly and told with trembling lips, “Kaizuka doesn’t deserve that. He’s been nothing but kind during the years. Even when I asked him to… have the intercourse with me he treated me like I was… someone worthy to be treated… with care.”

“Hmmm, well, it is good to hear,” Hakkinen mused aloud, slowly finishing his coffee. “So he does have conscience. Well, a pity regardless… what took place was _unacceptable_. What to do with you now…”

Slaine folded his hands back over the table surface and watched Hakkinen meekly. He had shut thinking at this point and now only waited for his doom.

“As a gratitude for your honesty I will allow you to give birth to the child if you want it, Troyard. The medical team you currently have will stay with you for all the months of your pregnancy,” Hakkinen turned the empty cup in his hands over and over as if it was Slaine’s life he was toying with. “But you will continue to be a prisoner so the child cannot stay with you. I will allow Kaizuka to visit you regularly, _monitored of course,_ so that he can follow the pregnancy and also discuss with you the child’s future. Either Kaizuka takes the child in or it goes into a foster system.”

Slaine nodded; it was actually more than he had hoped for. Eelis Hakkinen turned out to be a decent person and Slaine was grateful. Grateful his child would be able to see light and have a family. He tried not to think about the moment he would have to give him away; it was too far yet, and the pregnancy still felt too new. In truth he didn’t feel any different at the moment. Would he be able to bond with the baby as it grew inside of him? He didn’t know. He didn’t even know if he truly wanted to give birth but he had already made the decision and he wouldn’t turn away from it.

“As for Kaizuka’s duties,” Hakkinen added as he stood up, crumpled the empty carton and let it drop on the table to lie there - ugly and destroyed. “They will be transferred to another person. Kaizuka will be kindly asked to resign, so after your delivery - do not dream to see him again. That’s in case you developed any kind of feelings towards the man. You are a criminal, Troyard, don’t forget that.”

Hakkinen lingered to watch his reaction but he gave him none. The only short time he had truly forgotten he was a monster was when Kaizuka held him. But it was an illusion, Slaine perfectly knew it himself. As if he could ever forget what kind of a despicable being he was. He lowered his head in defeat; his messy hair hid his tired face.

Then the glass door slid shut, sealing his fate.

***

Kaizuka arrived the next day. They weren’t allowed to meet in his cell so he was escorted to the same meeting room as yesterday, thankfully with no cuffs. The fresh memories of Hakkinen’s visit made him shiver but the sight of Kaizuka distracted him. The guards stepped away and walked back towards the door; they stayed there, throwing glances at Kaizuka and looking uncertain. At least they weren’t gossiping at the moment; Slaine already felt enough shame for the whole mess.

He forced himself to walk forward and sit upon his usual chair. Kaizuka still stood behind the table, rigid, and Slaine found courage to truly look at him. Well, he had to admit Kaizuka looked like shit. He wore simple civilian dressing: blue jeans, white shirt and an unzipped black jacket over it, but his clothes were very crumpled. It made him think if maybe Kaizuka had been detained all this time and came to visit him right after his release. His hair was a mess too and he was very pale; in the silver lighting of the room his skin almost seemed blue.

Time tickled away as Kaizuka stared at him, unable to utter a word for whatever reason, and Slaine realized that this time he would have to control the talk. He didn’t know what was going on with Kaizuka but he wasn’t going to waste precious time on silence. The guards had told him he had approximately forty minutes to discuss whatever they wanted and that Kaizuka was also allowed to demand any documents about his health in case he was aiming to later take the child in.

“Sit,” Slaine ordered and watched as Kaizuka sagged onto his seat, his hand going up to cover his nose while he continued to stare at him as if he was lost somewhere faraway. He wondered if maybe his awakening scent had confused Kaizuka. Slaine was beginning to be aware of the whole new world of scents only recently. His nose wasn’t yet perfect but even the small differences felt drastic. Like, for example, right now Kaizuka smelled very pleasant, very calming - of a fresh winter morning, of the long-forgotten smell of countless pines running away behind the horizon line. Slaine faintly remembered his father taking him once for a short walk along the winter forest when they travelled somewhere north; it was eons ago. He shook his head; he had to focus. “What did they inform you about?”

“Only that I’m allowed to visit once a week and in case of an emergency. I was given papers but I hurried here, I have yet to read through-”

“They allowed me to give birth,” Slaine cut Kaizuka short, looking sideways. Guilt flared making him fiddle with the edge of his t-shirt but he had to ask, “Did they fire you?”

Kaizuka took a pause; he wasn’t averting his eyes but didn’t look comfortable either. “They are forcing me to resign. If I refuse they will fire me and it will stain my record. Admiral Hakkinen payed me a visit before I was released and told me if I leave quietly the UFE will give me a lifelong pension since I was injured during the service.”

“Well, keep the thanks,” Slaine smiled bitterly, afraid Kaizuka would start to blame him for the situation but Kaizuka stayed silent. He moved his shoulders abruptly; they started twitching from the anxiety he felt. “Anyway, you _are_ taking custody of the baby, aren’t you?”

“Slaine, there are more urgent things we need to discuss,” Kaizuka said firmly. “We need to get you out. You can’t just be separated from your own child…”

“Oh, really?” Slaine gave him an unpleasant smile and continued, spite dripping with his every word, “And how are you going to manage that… _lawfully_? Or maybe you will come here riding your faithful Sleipnir and break through the walls, dooming both me and your child to become fugitives and fear our whole lives? Risk starting the Third Interplanetary War? Would you even _do_ that for the likes of me, Kaizuka? Did you like shoving your cock inside of me _so much_?”

“Slaine, I will talk to Hakkinen again. We have to _do_ something. We have _time_ until your delivery. Maybe the Empress will be able to help,” Kaizuka ignored his outburst. It seemed important to him to prove he was not a faceless, powerless outsider at this point. But Slaine knew better. He knew exactly after his meeting with Hakkinen what kind of person Eelis Hakkinen was - fair but strict; he wouldn’t barge. And the only thought that the Empress would become aware of their disgraceful quandary made him sick. Anything but that. _Anything._

 _“We shall talk about the child and nothing else,”_ he spoke in a clear obliging voice, his hands coming to rest against the table in fists. “And if you bring _the Empress_ into this - if she knows _even a bit_ about this - I will personally _strangle_ you with my own hands, and then they will convict me for murdering you and they’ll dispose of the child.”

That had perfectly shut Kaizuka up. They had their fair share of strained conversations before but it had been six years since Slaine had shown any real anger. He was honest in what he said even though he wasn’t proud of it. There was no way Kaizuka would be able to get him out of prison, especially now that he wouldn’t be part of the UFE, and Slaine wasn’t going to hope for the impossible. Instead - he needed to know his child would be safe, cared for, loved. That his child would have a _family_ \- a family he would never be a part of.

“Now,” Slaine said, calming his breathing; the guards were giving him warning looks. “ _Will you_ take custody of the baby, Kaizuka, or will he have to suffer through the foster system?”

Kaizuka’s lips twitched. Slaine could evidently see he was holding back from saying a lot of things but was now careful to cause his dissatisfaction. In the end Kaizuka put his elbow against the table and rubbed his face, then his eye-patch, with one hand, looking tired and defeated and absolutely hopeless, “Yes. Of course I will. He is mine.”

That was all Slaine needed to know and he gave Kaizuka a curt nod.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been so happy to finish the chapter in my whole life. Because Slaine doesn’t deserve this. Initially I had planned for Inaho to somehow take him out but I soon realized I didn’t want it to go that way; my head began drawing scenes of another future and thus I arrived to this painful point. We have more angst ahead but mostly it’s only the way up from there, no matter how hard it will be.

The prison had a yard. It was about one thousand and two hundred square meters and made Slaine convinced his prison hadn’t been a prison before they had transferred him here. It must have been a small administrative building in the past. The block itself had two floors and a tiny parking near the gates and he knew the guards who were off duty usually stayed on the second floor. But it were minor details he never cared about; he was more happy there was a piece of nature close to his living arrangement.

Before - he was allowed walks two times a week. The guards would take him to the yard and leave him since the yard was surrounded by the high brick walls with the barbed wire on top. If he ever dared to escape no doubt he’d get tangled in the deathly trap - so no one was worried when he hid behind the rich untamed greenery crowding the yard. It was like a tiny forest with a wooden bench in its center. Sometimes he’d sit there for hours - if the guards felt generous and let him linger - simply looking at the leaves or at the little patches of sky winking at him through the foliage. Even during winter when the trees stood bare or covered in cold snow it was enjoyable; it gave him a sense of freedom.

And now he couldn’t really describe his feelings of delight when he was allowed to have walks every day - for the sake of pregnancy of course because the child needed him to lead a healthy lifestyle. He suspected it was the obstetrician’s courtesy or, maybe, Yagarai Soma had again messed with the guards since as soon as he got the news the two had escorted him outside and joined him on the bench. Sometimes he talked to them cordially; sometimes they’d leave him alone and he’d get lost in the moment of so much needed tranquility; sometimes the obstetrician would bring him tea or juice and they’d slowly discuss his pregnancy; and sometimes Kaizuka would come and follow him stubbornly along the small paths of the land.

Among all of these instances Slaine hated the last tremendously. He was glad Kaizuka paid attention to his progressing pregnancy and always asked about his health but Kaizuka’s appearance also meant there would be his irritating attempts to talk about his future. He was tired to repeat time after time after time that he had no future but Kaizuka wasn’t backing down. As far as Slaine knew he was trying to contact Hakkinen but it was getting him nowhere.

He once wondered - as revenge to Kaizuka’s annoying obstinacy - his lips coiling into a devilish smile, “So… how is it going?”

“They let me sit in the waiting room for eight hours every day then they ask me to leave. When I refuse they throw me out forcefully,” Kaizuka told him honestly, hands stuck in the pockets of his jeans, head hung low. He looked up at him then and dared again, “Slaine, the Empress…”

“ _One more word and I’ll beg them to forbid your visits_ ,” Slaine hissed in disdain. He didn’t want Asseylum’s pity. If she thought he was worth only a polite letter once in a year then so be it. Yes, he _was_ guilty for prolonging the war, yet he had saved her life and all he really hoped for ever since his imprisonment was to talk to her just once - to apologize and to see that she cared - maybe not as a close person anymore but as a _human_. He needed it all these lonely years when his hands would shake as he’d pick the letters up in vain hope there would be something more meaningful other than ‘The year was so busy. I hope you’re in good health.’ Maybe he was selfish and wanted too much; he didn’t know. But after six years of silence if he’d receive her _pity_ instead of her forgiveness or acceptance or, at least, _understanding_ he’d simply… break. And he was already broken beyond any point.

With each passing month Kaizuka looked more and more weary; his visits became often. It seemed like he had bribed or confused the guards and since the new warden had yet to arrive and there were no cameras in most areas and he knew how to avoid those that were working - he wandered the prison like it was his personal kingdom. Although Slaine could easily prevent it - he was pretty sure the obstetrician would be glad to help - he stayed silent. Kaizuka _was_ irritating but he was also kind.

He never came with empty hands: fruits, salads, monstrous cakes, homemade food now crowded his cell. It made him guess if maybe Kaizuka was spending his nights in the kitchen because if he kept bothering the UFE office during the days and the journey there was taking time too, he surely didn’t have a minute to rest and cook. Maybe that’s why he was looking awful. Slaine had never seen him like that in all the years of their interaction. Kaizuka was always immaculate to a fault.

It worried him. Because Kaizuka was supposed to take care of their child and he wouldn’t be able to if he kept this behavior on and turned into a wreck even before his delivery. Slaine was into his fifth month, almost sixth; his belly was growing; and Kaizuka’s problem now seemed like a major one to him. Time was running out, albeit slowly. Kaizuka had to get his shit together and start getting ready for a baby in his life and Slaine didn’t even know if he had done any preparations. It was why he had initiated the talk for the first time since their meeting after Hakkinen’s visit; they needed this inevitable talk either way - for the child’s sake.

They were walking in the yard again; it was a bit chilly with the autumn on the way and the day ready to burn out. The trees stood proud; the comforting rustling made Slaine relax. The orange light of the approaching sunset colored the yard into magnificent yellow, pink and golden flames. Slaine sat on the bench, leant against the trunk of the helpful tree and asked Kaizuka to join him. Kaizuka didn’t protest as he sat close but Slaine was surprised when suddenly Kaizuka had removed his jacket and wrapped it against his shoulders forcing him to sit back straight for a moment.

It was indeed chilly today and, perhaps, he wasn’t dressed properly but he doubted it was enough reason for Kaizuka to act this way. Was he worried about the baby’s wellbeing? Slaine decided against arguing and accepted the gesture. Kaizuka’s jacket smelled of his by now familiar scent and it added to the strange calmness he felt.

Kaizuka wasn’t watching him; he was looking into himself, no doubt making crazy plans for sieging the UFE’s office. And today Slaine wanted his full attention. He mused on how to get it and in the end opted to trust his intuition. He never initiated contact: in the past even thinking about holding Asseylum’s hand without her approval made him feel horror. He’d also feel guilt whenever he stayed with Lemrina and see how deeply she was becoming rooted to his existence. All of those times felt wrong-wrong-wrong like he was a beast daring to tarnish something sacred. Yet, it didn’t stop him from having intercourse with Kaizuka - perhaps because Kaizuka was _different_. Kaizuka didn’t care about his image, his past; he had accepted him at his lowest.

Slaine found Kaizuka’s hand resting over the bench and covered it with his own.

His hand was cold and he had to hold it tighter as Kaizuka shuddered; Slaine was afraid he would shy away. Minutes passed and he hadn’t, instead - he sat there merely watching their joined hands. Kaizuka’s look was odd - like their touch pained him but at the same time he desired it no less. “Your hands are cold, Kaizuka,” Slaine said quietly. “When was the last time you slept? When was the last time you had food? The last time you showered? The last time you cared about your clothes?”

“…I don’t remember.”

The answer didn’t surprise him. Slaine curled his fingers around Kaizuka’s palm, determined to warm his hand. Somehow it gave him courage for the talk too - like they weren’t strangers and only needed to work through some stuff to make life better.

“You need to stop thinking about me, Inaho,” he used Kaizuka’s name in hope Kaizuka would finally hear him. “ _Please, think about the child.”_

“I cannot,” Kaizuka said in a strained voice. “I’m at fault. I cannot just let it go and let you suffer. I had made a mistake and it…”

_“You_ are at fault?” Slaine pursed his lips, upset. “I think you need to know this, Kaizuka… What we did was _good_. I liked it. I _loved_ it.” Tears burned his eyes but he willed them away angrily; it was not the time to break down. “It was not a _mistake_ and don’t call it such. I do not regret a second of finally feeling like I was truly _alive_. You think I blame you for it? For the most human way I was treated throughout my life? For the kindest and gentlest and most selfish experience I have ever had… _allowed myself to have_?”

“But don’t you understand…”

“I understand it better than _anyone,_ ” he yelled as a surge of pain he tried to avoid every day, every second, gripped his chest. He tightened his hold on Kaizuka’s hand and didn’t care if it hurt. “So shut up - _shut up_ \- and don’t make me repeat myself.”

It seemed like Kaizuka was afraid to look him in the eyes. His glance fell back to their united hands; Slaine could feel his hand was shaking.

“You will go home and eat and take care of yourself. You will sleep until your body is sated,” he commanded. “And then you will start doing everything you can for the child. You need to figure out where you are going to work, where you’ll get the money. You need to prepare your home for the baby: the clothes, the furniture, the toys, the milliard of other important things. You need to learn how to care about him, how to feed him, dress him and lull him to sleep, how to see if he is ill or needs help. You need to study on how you’ll nurture him, educate him, how you’ll play with him and watch after him. _You don’t have time, Kaizuka._ You need to fall asleep and wake up with these thoughts if you want your - _our_ \- child to grow up happy.”

As if to emphasize his words he pulled Kaizuka’s captured hand to his belly and placed it there, under his loose t-shirt.

“I know you want to do good,” he whispered. “But you can’t save me this time, Inaho. You are not God; there are things that will always be beyond your reach. If you truly want to help… please, use your time and your head for the child’s future. I beg you. _He will only have you to guide him._ ”

It was the moment he suddenly felt it - the clear movement inside; he had already experienced something similar before but those were like fluttering of butterflies and now it felt more like a kick. He bent slightly - not from pain or discomfort but from surprise and wonder, all his words and thoughts forgotten in a flash. Kaizuka reacted too - he spread his fingers over his belly as wide as he could.

“Oh my God,” Slaine breathed out, bewildered. “I am really pregnant.”

The tips of Kaizuka’s lips unexpectedly went up; he gave him a small smile. “You are.”

They sat there for many more minutes in silent wonder, waiting for their child to move again. Kaizuka kept his hand on his belly, rubbed it soothingly from time to time as if he wanted to let the child know that everything was going to be alright and Slaine let him. It was pleasant and calming and he loved every second of it. The thought that he’d gladly spend the rest of his life like this came and was gone; he knew better. Still, he realized he would never forget this moment; it would be burned before his eyes and into his skin for years to come.

When the sun had set Kaizuka walked with him towards the waiting guards and for a minute they stood in front of each other, looking at each other as if they finally reached some kind of understanding. None of them spoke anymore but ever since that day Kaizuka’s visits lessened, and Slaine knew he was doing exactly what he had asked of him. And he was glad; it was the way it had to be.

***

As months rolled forward Slaine was bewitched by the little one. His baby became active in no time kicking him and rolling very often, especially when he didn’t like the position Slaine rested in. The obstetrician told him the baby was able to hear his voice and sounds if they were loud enough and suggested to sing lullabies and he had to fight the overwhelming feeling of shame because he couldn’t remember any songs at all, let alone lullabies. Instead he started reading books he loved aloud, hoping it would soothe his son. He didn’t know if it worked really but whenever he read his child seemed to be calm.

_His son_. The words felt strange on his lips, in his thoughts, but sometimes he’d repeat them to himself for hours. He was bringing another life into the world; finally he was involved in something _pure_ and _promising._ He also realized he didn’t have to bond with the child; he was already bonded for life. It made him think of his mother, of how she was able to leave him - because he knew that if he had the freedom he’d never leave his child’s side. It was impossible even to think of - leaving it voluntary.

He talked to the child often hoping that at least his tone of voice would let him know how much he loved him. He considered writing a letter that Kaizuka would be able to give him after he’d grow up - if Kaizuka wasn’t against it of course - but whenever he sat to do it he always felt shame. How would his baby feel being a child of Slaine Troyard, the convict who was blamed for starting the war? He’d probably hate him and wish to know nothing about him. There was also the possibility that Kaizuka would find someone over the years and the child would happily grow up thinking of Kaizuka’s partner as his second parent. In the end it made him put his pen and paper away. Doing the letter felt wrong and writing lies in it felt even worse.

He spent hours, either walking or in his cell, holding his belly lovingly, telling the little one stories about the places of Earth he had seen with his father, about animals and nature and how fascinating were the distant stars he watched from the Vers palace. Sometimes he would talk with the baby asking him questions on what he would do when he grew up - would he want to become a scientist or an artist or would he simply desire to build a large family… He hoped his baby would have Kaizuka’s brains but at the same time he also wanted him to keep a part of himself - the emotions that had allowed him to appreciate thousands of things in his not very praiseworthy life.

One day after his usual checkup the obstetrician placed a small book over his lap and smiled knowingly, “Well, dear, we are approaching the delivery so I think you might want to look through this. The documents say you were born in a northern country, weren’t you?”

He lowered his gaze only to read the title: ‘A Collection of Northern Names and Their Meanings’.

He slid his fingers over the glossy cover absent-mindedly. He had thought he’d let Kaizuka name their child: after all Kaizuka was the one who was going to live his life with him and Slaine hadn’t the slightest idea what names were considered proper in Kaizuka’s environment. But now that he held the book he suddenly wished to do it himself. So that he’d keep his son’s name in his heart, so that he’d have a name to make the silent well-wishes for, so that he’d own at least a part of his son forever. It was selfish but the determination flooded him and he thanked the obstetrician warmly. He would do it; he would choose the name. He had the right to decide at least this, didn’t he? He doubted Kaizuka would mind.

He had spent several evenings with the book studying it thoroughly. And when Kaizuka visited him next time he told him, boldly, as they met outside in the yard, “I have decided how to call my son.”

Kaizuka tilted his head to look at him since he was walking with his blind side to him and seemed to notice the steel in his voice and the way he formed the words. Slaine was not swaying from his choice and he hoped Kaizuka would respect it.

“Tell me then,” Kaizuka replied softly, gentle and supporting as always and Slaine felt as his throat became tight.

“ _Agne_ ,” he said, suddenly worried Kaizuka would not approve of the name. “It-it means _\- an edge of a weapon_ … But also - _pure, chaste._ I… I want him to be strong, Kaizuka, but to also be feeling, human.” He didn’t say: ‘ _I want him to be someone I never had the chance to be_ ’ but he meant it with his heart.

“It’s a nice name. Let’s keep it,” Kaizuka readily agreed and Slaine felt as his cheeks flushed in delight. _Agne_ , he thought, _Agne, Agne_.

As if someone with divine power was hearing his wordless prayers - his pregnancy progressed smoothly, with no troubles or wrongs at all. Sometimes he’d get the strange food cravings: one day he’d want a slice of brown bread with salt and the next he’d find himself hungrily devouring Kaizuka’s homemade cakes. But food cravings were easily dealt with: the medical team and Kaizuka literally stuffed him with all kinds of food. Once when Slaine suddenly wanted strawberries as he sat together with Kaizuka in the yard Kaizuka had disappeared for two hours only to come back with a bag of fresh strawberries despite that it was _winter_. Slaine ate them like starved and almost moaned from the godly taste.

All these months he did his best to stay calm: he fought against his thoughts of future, against his past guilt, against his current worries and fears. His son didn’t need his ugly baggage; he would live in a better world and choose his own future. Maybe he’d do some small mistakes but it was fine: all people did mistakes.

He stayed strong, waiting for the final moment when he’d deliver. The process of giving birth wasn’t scaring him: by now he knew the theory and what to expect and how to breathe and the right way to act. Yet when the time came he realized he was _terrified_. He had just got up from the bed and dressed himself very slowly as his belly was large and demanded him to be careful. And in the next second he was standing there, his pants drenched in the amniotic fluid and panic surging through his whole body despite that he wasn’t yet going into labor; there were no pains.

Ha had managed to gather his brains enough to call the guard who contacted the medical team. They relocated him to the medical chamber immediately, and he was glad the obstetrician looked calm. They had talked before and had settled onto the C-section because his son grew quite big which could cause problems during the delivery. In the past male omegas had no such privilege and deaths rates were very high; he guessed he was lucky to be born in the modern era.

“We planned for the C-section but the baby is a bit early, Slaine. I need you to know it’s alright. We’ll start soon, okay? Please tell me if you feel the pains,” the obstetrician’s voice was soothing but she was moving around the room, preparing all the stuff and discussing the next steps with the nurse and Slaine suddenly felt so alone he almost let out a sob.

He didn’t notice how Yagarai Soma had walked up to his bed but his hand was warm when he gripped his shoulder in support. “Do you want me to call Inaho?” he asked him, smiling sympathetically, and Slaine managed to croak a shameful ‘yes’. He wanted somebody to be there: not out of duty or compassion but _for him_. He lay on the bed and watched the lights continuously until his eyes started hurting and he had to blink the tears away.

He was so scared: what if something went wrong during the operation? What if his baby would be hurt? What if he somehow wouldn’t survive to finally see his little Agne? What if they wouldn’t let him see his child at all? The obstetrician had told him they’d keep Agne for a week at least - for safety reasons, and then the moment of when Kaizuka would be able to leave with him would depend on the UFE so there would still be time to spend with his child - hopefully.

He didn’t know how much time had passed; he was too agitated, too distraught and every minute felt like an eternity. Until the door had barged open and Kaizuka rushed in, panting like he had run here from the other part of the planet. The obstetrician wasn’t too happy about a sudden visitor but Slaine sent her a pleading look and she had relented, only asked Kaizuka to refresh and dress into a doctor coat.

“It’s going to be fine,” Kaizuka said as he stood behind the head of his bed, pale and lost and looking like he was ready to be sick from the nerves. And suddenly all the worry Slaine felt had migrated to the Neverland.

“Is this the man who had brought me to my downfall?” he joked watching Kaizuka upwards but Kaizuka clearly wasn’t amused. Slaine huffed and lifted his arm and caught Kaizuka’s cold hand and laced their fingers together. Kaizuka breathed out visibly, pushed a stool nearby to where he stood and rested on it, propping up his elbows against the bed and taking his hand into both of his own.

Kaizuka’s presence, his scent, his touch were so reassuring Slaine closed his eyes and let the medical team do their work. He didn’t memorize how much time he had spent in the medical chamber but he did remember that Kaizuka held his hand tightly throughout all of it. He wasn’t alone.

***

Agne’s wails were thundering in the room before they had put him on his chest and the child quieted down as he heard his heartbeat. Slaine didn’t trust his hands to touch him; tears rolled down his cheeks freely while Kaizuka loomed over them both, touched Slaine’s forehead briefly, smoothed his hair and then leaned in to carefully touch Agne’s back with the tips of his fingers. Agne breathed and opened his mouth as if searching for the source of food and Slaine tried to stay calm since he knew he wouldn’t be able to feed him with his chest: it was another sad result of his choice to take the long-duration suppressant.

Agne seemed too small, helpless; he had dark hair on his head which Slaine knew would fall out later and he had magnificent blue eyes, very similar to his own, but that too could change later so Slaine wasn’t going to make useless wishes. Apart from that Agne looked red and shriveled but Slaine was convinced he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or would see in his life.

“Slaine, dear, we still need to stitch you up,” the obstetrician said quietly. She seemed a bit tired already as she was doing work that was usually done by a team of different doctors. “Let us take the baby for now. You’ll see each other soon enough.”

“Go watch him,” he croaked to Kaizuka, worried Agne would stay unsupervised but Kaizuka had his own piece of mind.

“He’s in safe hands,” Kaizuka replied and sat back to hold his hand when the nurse carried the child away. “I’ll stay with you for now. I promise I’ll check on Agne later.”

Slaine chewed on his lip but didn’t say anything. Kaizuka was right: the child needed a proper wash and milk and to be monitored; there were vaccines to do later as well. Kaizuka wouldn’t help anyone at this point; even if he had studied on how to handle babies he was yet inexperienced and he came to the prison in a rush so was probably tired and in no state to deal with anything now. He breathed out his worry and squeezed Kaizuka’s hand in silent thanks. That he came here for him and watched all this bloody, ugly mess and still wished to stay deserved respect.

The stitching took some time and the obstetrician told him he’d spend the night in the medical chamber, monitored as well as his child. He realized why as soon as anesthesia started to fade and he could feel his legs again. The pain was sharp and crawled up his body in unstoppable waves. After hours of it and one barely successful walk across the room Slaine finally fell asleep.

Days ran very fast after that. He kept Agne close and learned how to feed him with the bottle, how to take care of him, how to swaddle him and lull him to sleep. He would sit hours on the bed in his cell and hold sleeping Agne close to his chest, smiling as he watched his little face and nose and listening to his quiet breathing. Even as a new-born Agne was a silent child; he cried only when he was hungry or dirty and would calm down as soon as his demands were sated. Slaine was so glad: it meant Kaizuka would have a slightly easier time.

He felt fear as the first week had passed and then the second and then finally the third. Kaizuka was visiting every day, helped him at moments when Slaine felt generous enough to let him, but mostly Kaizuka was just sitting close and staring at him and Agne because Slaine felt too selfish to lose even seconds of his precious contact with his son. Only once when Slaine had asked the guards to walk him to the medical chamber to get a fresh diaper he came back to find Kaizuka carefully holding Agne and saying some nonsense which sounded suspiciously like ‘Newton’s first law…’ Kaizuka had shut up quickly upon seeing him and Slaine eyed him dangerously. Surely, their son needed not any difficult stuff in the third week of his life.

His pure joy was shattered on the fourth week. The new warden had finally arrived. It was a woman in her fifties and her profile somehow reminded him of Count Cruhteo. Just like him she wasted no time on choosing her words and had walked into his cell as if she owned the place already.

“What a happy idyll,” she said in disdain as she glanced at him holding the sleeping child. Thankfully, Agne was clean and sated and Slaine hoped he would keep sleeping for the next hour at least. Yet, he blanched; he knew what was coming next. The woman turned to the guards and commanded, “Call Kaizuka Inaho immediately. I’ve the official papers for him to take the child. A prison isn’t a right place for a new-born.”

Slaine shook desperately all those forty minutes it took Kaizuka to come: his teeth, his hands, his lips trembled. He was afraid he’d wake Agne up but couldn’t calm himself. The obstetrician paid him a quick visit under the pretense she needed to check his health and tried to soothe him but it was futile. He didn’t even remember what she was saying. All he could see was Agne: his tiny mouth, his rosy cheeks and his round forehead which he kept kissing and kissing like it was the last thing he would do in his life.

As they stood in front of each other in the meeting room Slaine noticed Kaizuka was no better: he was pale as a ghost. The warden winced but had walked out letting Slaine say his goodbyes. That was it. It was _that_ moment. It had finally come. Not that he had any doubts it wouldn’t.

“I… I want you to take something,” Slaine managed to whisper as he still held the child close to his heart. “It-it’s in my left pocket. I d-don’t think I can pull it out now. W-would you…?”

Kaizuka did what he asked for wordlessly. The chain of his pendant tinkled feebly as Kaizuka gripped the pendant in his hands. Their eyes met.

“It didn’t bring me any luck,” Slaine said, a sad smile appeared on his stiff lips, “But if he ever _asks_ , if he ever _wants_ to… have something of _me_ , please… Please, give it to him.”

It took Kaizuka a full minute as it seemed like he was tortured no less by what was taking place but he had nodded and put the pendant over his neck and hid it under his jacket. Slaine then looked at Agne again and pressed his nose to his cheek to take in his smell for the last time.

“Keep him healthy,” he begged, “Keep him safe. Make him happy. Give him all the love you can. Love him for both of us.”

He kissed Agne’s little forehead as he made a step forward and put him into Kaizuka’s waiting hands. He didn’t step back, not yet, only stood there as his, Kaizuka’s and Agne’s scents suddenly mingled and made his head dizzy. Their united scent was… striking, unforgettable. He briefly wondered if _a home - a family -_ was supposed to smell exactly like this. He let himself linger for a moment, gripped the edge of Kaizuka’s jacket on his elbow so that Kaizuka wouldn’t move away.

“I’m sorry I won’t be there for you,” he whispered lovingly to Agne instead of a goodbye and then - forced himself to step back.

“Slaine,” Kaizuka was clenching his teeth, pained and forlorn and obviously desperate.

“Go,” Slaine said coldly and threw him a hateful look. “Don’t make this harder.”

Kaizuka watched him, guilt written all over his face. He opened his mouth then shut it and made a first step back without watching where he was stepping. Then he made a second one, then third. And then he turned away, hugged Agne close and left the meeting room hurriedly, his shoulders hunched, his walk similar to someone who had suffered an utter defeat.

Slaine watched him go, watched the door close shut, watched as Agne was taken forever from his life.

Then he fell to his knees, clawed his hands into the floor, smashed his forehead against it and - screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> ♫♫♫  
> [UNRAVEL (FULL version - Tokyo Ghoul OP) - English opening cover by Jonathan Young](https://youtu.be/aVpJGGQHSqc)  
> [Noblesse Opening Fulll - Jae Joong『BREAKING DAWN』Produced by HYDE](https://youtu.be/eDa5xphIXDU)


End file.
